Sad Times

The world's worst blogger award goes to me. I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I've had a chance to blog. I wish I could say that the time has been happy and filled with fun, but it hasn't.

Previously, I asked for prayers for my ailing father-in-law (FIL for those who don't know these abbreviations). As many of you know, unfortunately, his illness was too great for him and he passed away on Monday evening, December 10, 2007. MIL was by his side and DH and his brother had spent the weekend with them. MIL says he went very peacefully just a few hours after being transferred from the hospital to a hospice in Kansas City. Basically, as the doctors were finishing up tests for the transplant, they found cancer at the last minute (Thurs., Dec. 6). They didn't know where it had started, but it was beginning to spread and that meant the transplant would not be possible. FIL refused dialysis on Friday and was gone by Monday. It's very bittersweet--we're glad he's not suffering anymore, but at age 59, he was entirely too young to die.

So followed a whirlwind couple of weeks. The weather was awful--icy, snowy, cold--and all MIL wanted was to get home. DH & her BIL got her home and we began to plan the memorial service. FIL asked to be cremated and his ashes buried in the cemetery, so that's what we did. We picked out a nice wooden box with a deer and mountain scene on it for the ashes and guest book and programs with a farm scene.

I tell ya, I've never helped plan a funeral before and it was a very odd experience. I knew DH needed me there with him and I was happy to go with them to the funeral home. In this particular funeral home, there is a whole area upstairs with urns on display, casket samples, guest book choices, etc. It wasn't too difficult to pick things out and we were pretty open as to how the service would go. Then, MIL had to pay for the memorial service and the other services being provided by the funeral right then and there! I was surprised because I figured that surely they would send you a bill later when everything is over and done with, but that's apparently not how it works. I'm not knocking how they do it--they are a business afterall--but I was just surprised that the bill had to be paid right away.

Once the memorial service was planned, we went to work finding photos to put on large boards. Since there was no body to view, we thought people would like to look at the photos. I thought I was going to have to do most of it, but FIL's sister flew in and did a much better job than I did. She was a lifesaver! We spent the rest of the week before the service visiting with family and friends, receiving TONS of food (and I'm not kidding--TONS of food!), and cleaning the house and garage. We were busy every day and one of those days our electricity was out for the entire day (that was an awful day for me, but I won't go into that)! Like I said the weather was awful and we were really lucky that our power was out only one day.

FIL's memorial service was Sunday afternoon, December 16, 2007. We had lunch at MIL's before the service. DH did pretty well during the service, but DS cried the entire time! Poor kid! I guess it wasn't very real to him until we were actually there. Afterward, we all went back to MIL's and visited with family and friends which was very nice.

We are all doing OK. DH & BIL know they can handle the farm themselves so that's a worry off of them, but it will take some time for it to really sink in that he's gone. I'm sure it's hardest on MIL who took care of him and was with him for almost 24 hours a day. We will all make it through because we have to. There are no other alternatives. And I know that we all will appreciate having MIL around more because she's the guys' right arm, my left arm, the kids' grandma, our babysitter, friend, and general good-sense-giving person!

Our Christmas was pretty subdued. We usually go to my parents' house for Christmas, but we decided to stay home and they and my sis & BIL came here. That was probably more work for me, but it was OK. We had a good time.

Once we got past Christmas, we've been bumps on a log. We haven't accomplished a darn thing really, but I suppose that's OK. We all needed some downtime. We have gotten more snow every few days and we've taken advantage of that when we can. It's been way too cold and windy to play outside the past fews days, although it's going to start warming up tomorrow and into the weekend. I don't think we've seen the ground for almost 3 weeks! The kids go back to school tomorrow and I think we're all anxious to get back to our normal routine.

I'm taking January off from bag-making and I hope to get caught up on some of my personal sewing projects. Still need to finish those gauchos, make a jacket, and I want to make a bag for myself for a change! I'll try to keep you updated.

Our family thanks all of you for your prayers, support, food, and anything else you did for us during the year FIL was ill and after his death. It really means a lot to us. BIG HUGS!!